eye of the storm

There were 2 deaths in my community on the same night. Rosa, a devoted Christian and family woman of 52 and Juan, the elderly botanical medicine man, both passed on January 15^th at 11pm. Both were terribly sick but we were not expecting such a tragic ending. I was at Rosa’s 3 hours earlier, helping the family out with whatever chore I could: fetching water or cooking soup. I returned home to rest and that evening I was awoken to screaming neighbors outside of my door; she had passed. My immediate reaction was to run. Run to the families. Run to the kids and spouses. I stayed with them all night as they screamed, wept, and even fainted.

The community stopped at a standstill for almost 2 weeks. No one went to the farm, no one left to sell cocoa; the only movement was coffin making and visitation to the families. Hundreds of people came from neighboring communities to pay their respect to the families and Santa Marta.

The death I have experienced in my life as always been somewhat removed- whether it be by distance, time or association. Death is always a sensitive subject and never easy, but I was especially uncomfortable in a culture and country not of my own. I felt like a huge storm was blowing all the trees in different directions, and I was the only non-native species that didn’t know which way to sway. I tried to follow everyone’s example and visited the families, always bearing gifts or helping out with some chore. During moments of long silences, I thought it best to be myself. I once broke a long silence by asking, “Hey you want to learn a funny word in English? Hippopotamus” –which was immediately followed by an uproar of laughter and gestures of gratefulness.

However, as much sympathy as I had for these families, I could not get over my own feelings of loneliness (I am even embarrassed sharing this to the public). During the burials, (mind you in a culture that does not publicly show affection) family members were holding each other, bracing each other, wiping each other’s tears, while I was just… there. That night I went home alone and cooked dinner for myself and ate by myself- a routine I do every day, but was tattered by the absence of my biological family.

What I really want t get across in this post is that Peace Corps is not a fairy tale of successful development work and happy children and beautiful pictures. Life is happening, and it can end at any moment. Cherish every day and call someone you love after reading this.

Trash Talk

Here is a crude metaphor: Trash is like HIV, it’s all over the world and is impossible to cure. The only feasible answer? Prevention.

 In the past few months I have visited several communities to discuss trash management. Most communities burn or bury their trash and since there are very limited alternatives, we discuss ways that burning or burying could be done in a more environmental and health conscience manner. Some examples:

Don’t burn your trash at the hottest part of the day or when kids are close

Don’t bury trash close to the river

It is important to separate your trash before burning to avoid hazardous chemical reactions

We also talk about trash incinerators- large tin cans where trash can be burned. It traps in toxic smoke and burns trash at a faster rate. 


 I have visited 4 different communities but what has sparked the most interest in every community has been recycled artisan. We have made bracelets and purses out of plastic cookie wrappers and soda pop tabs. We have made jewelry out of magazines, and purses out of plastic bags. Panamanians are very talented and have a natural hand for artisan work (most souvenirs are handmade) so it was easy for them to pick up. PLUS there is little to no cost since we are just reusing our own trash! When  I made the recycled artisan charla in Santa Marta, I expected it to last no more than an hour. But surprisingly, people stayed for over 5 hours, men women and children practicing. What I was most proud of was when the trash I had brought ran out, kids when running to voluntarily look for more trash to keep practicing! There was an artisan group in the past, but due to corruption it no longer exists. Who knows if Santa Marta will start a new group or even continue thinking about trash. However, I can say that during this day I saw collaboration and heard ideas of team work and participatory action. I cannot force the community to have a group but I hope to inspire them to continue thinking about trash management and artisan work

bracelet from cookie wrappers

jewelry from soda pop tabs

purse croched from plastic bags

Travelin Band

After 7 months in my community, it was time for a much needed vacation. I crossed the border into Costa Rica (not realizing I only live 2 hours from the border) and met with one of my best friends, Paz.  We went to Manuel Antonio National Park which lies on the Pacific coast of Costa Rica.  The park consists of a few trails in the jungle but is most popular for its beaches. There are tons of guided tours that are available but it is also possible (but not very honest) to just follow a group  to check out the hidden animals and hear some cool facts. We saw plenty of monkeys, snakes, crabs, bats, frogs and raccoons…hungry very raccoons which will steal your lunch on the beach if you’re not careful. After checking out the park we spent 2 days (including Christmas) on the beach. For any interested travelers, we stayed in Hostel Plinio right outside of Quepos. We loved it! It was a very clean, tranquil hostel with a pool and full stocked kitchen.



The country of monkeys!

 

Manuel Antonio National Park

 

Can you see the frog?

Costa Rican Sunset

 It was the first time I had felt genuinely relaxed for a very long time because I was away from everything PC related. I was away from Panama, Panamanians, Panamanian food, PC paperwork, Ngäbere language, meetings, complaining community members and other volunteers. Don’t get me wrong, I love being here and sharing my experiences and support with other volunteers. However when PCVs get together, there’s always the pressure to talk about work or drink our livers off.

We returned to Santa Marta so Paz could get a hint of Peace Corps life. I have my eco-club every Saturday, so she was here to help me facilitate a recycling sessions. We made paper snowflakes and shared our American traditions of Christmas and cold weather. It was very refreshing having a non-PCV visitor. Generally when PCVs visit each other it is because a very exclusive English-speaking only mental break is needed. However Paz  was generally interested in meeting my community members. Her positive commentary on the beauty of my community and welcoming hospitality of the people make me stop and recognize the gratitude I had started to lose. She was a great inspiration when she was exposed to some of the challenges I have had to face (community specific and PC generally)

We also celebrated my birthday and New Year’s Eve in Santa Marta. A few fellow PCVs came to visit. We started the morning with a very successful soap-making class (It can be made out of used-cooking oil; since Panamanians fry everything is a great way to re-use the oil they would just otherwise throw out!). During the class the participants sang (very terribly but whole heartedly) Happy Birthday in English. We spent the rest of the day eating until we were going to explode.

Scuba diving

After visiting Santa Marta, we continued our vacation to Bocas Island where we got scuba certified (any visitors wanna come down to dive, I am all in!) then returned to Costa Rica on the Atlantic side. We visited the Sloth Sanctuary in Cahuita… sloths are actually really cool animals (despite that they spread leishmaniasis, a skin eating bacteria.. my heart goes out to the PCVs in Panama who have suffered from this)

Some awesome fun sloth facts:

They live in trees, but go on the ground once a week to poop/pee

There is no physical evidence of pregnancy; once birth is happening the female just reaches around her backside to catch the baby

Babies are born with a full body of hair and claws

Although slow, when necessary (like defense mechanisms) they can move as fast as a cheetah

The only known species of pygmy sloth lives on an island off of Panama!

Broken bones mend 7x faster than human bones

There is evolutionary evidence that suggests sloths were once the size of t-rexs

 

Buttercup, world's oldest captive sloth

 

I really enjoyed my time in Costa Rica and hope to see more of Latin America while I am down here. Thanks to Paz and the PCVs who joined me for this refreshing vacation!

Planting the Seed

Back in August my community chose reforestation as their main project in which I would be supporting. Many may be thinking, well what’s going on with that? The answer: it’s been very slow. I collaborated with the local ANAM office and they were very excited to work with me. Ma main man and counterpart, Pancho, and I had a meeting with the community to come up with a plan. He gave the community and me 3 goals.

 

1.       Reforest the creek in our community that is used by many to bathe and wash clothes

2.       Reforest our watershed that is providing the community with drinking water

3.       Reforest the farms of the community members

 

Goal 1 was a success! I created an ecological club for kids during their summer break. Every Saturday I teach a lesson on values (responsibility, honesty, friendship, ect) and what exactly each one of those values mean. I then tie values in with the activity for the week. Last week we did a trash clean up and this week we reforested the creek. A member of my community had several hundred seedlings of a tree called “soltocaballo” in his farm, so he and I removed about 80 to be transplanted next to the creek. This was ideal because 1. It is sustainable, we did not have to ask for outside help from institutions, 2. The trees that are along the creek right now are currently not flowering and I did not want to wait until later months to start reforesting… especially when there were seedlings readily available! The kids really enjoyed it, and I hope for years to come they can say: See that tree?  I planted that.

In regards to Goal 2, it has progressed into a long story of gossip and drama. The newly elected water committee has been excited and determined in completing this goal. But Pancho told us he wanted to certify the marked area where we are going to reforest. Before certification, we had to ask permission of the owner. Now a little background info: there’s a family here that consist of 6 brothers, all in their 30s or 40s, and the mother. The father left the mother years ago and lives in a different community but comes to visit every year. Members of the water committee and myself have been investigating, asking around who is the owner of the land where our water well is. Everyone, including one of the brothers, said that the father was the owner. Thankfully the timing worked out just perfect because he came for mother’s day (Dec 8^th) so the water committee and myself  met with the father and without any hesitation he agreed in marking a 1 hector area around the well to reforest and prohibit deforestation. Excited, I starting spreading the word that we were going to reforest the well. I ran into one of the brothers and he frowned “ Meti, there is no permission to reforest” then went on to explain that his dad is not the rightful owner because he does not live in the community and the rightful owner is the mother and the oldest brother and the whole water committee needs to meet with the whole family (even 2 brothers and a sister who don’t live in the area) before reforesting. Feeling discouraged, I told the water committee president. This has caused a lot of drama, especially between the family and the water committee president. Until they talk and resolve the issue (since being a PCV does not entail solving family nor legal problems), I am currently stepping away from the goal.

Goal 3: Pending until after the holidays when Pancho and I return from much needed vacations!

Leadership and Project Management

PC Panama has a unique program that is spreading through the rest of the countries. Every volunteer has the chance to bring a counterpart to a Project Management and Leadership seminar. During this 4 day seminar, we covered topics such as:

objectives, values, strategies on the level of individuals, groups, communities, and institutions

Budgeting

How to form or re-form groups

How to organize meetings

The difference between problems and conflicts

How to resolve conflicts

How to write letters of presentation and solicitation

How to present to agencies and public speaking

 

 

We were split into colors. Every group had to present a flag that represented their vakues

 

 

 

Go team green!

 

Depending on who you choose from your community, this seminar can be a hit or miss. If you bring someone who already has leadership experience, the participant may not get much out of the seminar. PC recommends bringing someone who has the capacity of being a great leader but may just need a little encouragement.  I wanted to bring a woman because women – especially in the Comarca- do not leave the house often and will never have an opportunity like this. There is an abundant amount of male leaders in my community, almost to the amount that nothing gets done because there are too many cooks in the kitchen. There are woman who have showed leadership qualities but less so than men. I brought one of my best friends-Ermalinda. Ermalinda does not always participate in community gatherings due to large amounts of gossip that goes on, but we have talked about some great ideas that could help out the community-she is just afraid to speak out during meetings. During this seminar, she started off quiet and intimidated (and I can understand since she was surrounded by white people and latinos) but by the end of the seminar she could not shut up! She participated and made plenty of friends. We are planning on repeating some of the sessions in my site because I feel like there are leaders who could really benefit from the tips.

My favorite part of the seminar was the Cultural Night. This night consisted of song, dance, artisan, and clothing from all parts of Panama. Ermlinda brought chocolate and towels that she crotches. Her and I wore the traditional nagua dress and danced the Gwara with a few other members at the seminar.

Ermalinda and I rockin the naguas

Why PC ISNT for lovers

This is a blog post from my beloved friend, Sarah Edwards, who is serving in Cameroon. She wrote this post and with her permission I am reposting it on my blog because there is so much truth in it..

 I recently saw this article, “10 reasons why the Peace Corps is for lovers”. I though that it was cute but based on exception rather than the rules. Peace Corps is absolutely not a place to fall in love. Make strong friendships, yes. Looooooove? Hell no.
Here’s my reasoning:
1. Peace Corps is like high school… PCVs are only second in gossiping abilities to Cameroonians in my village. Kongosa is the pidgin work for gossip, and believe you me, it’s impossible to go through a day without hearing some kongosa. By the time that we move to our post we know or have a sense of at least most of the volunteers in the country…including who’s dating/casually seeing/having drama with who. Do you really want your name getting mixed up in that? Brings us to #2
2. Peace Corps incest. If one is only looking to be involved with other PCVs there’s more than a good chance that they will have gotten with someone else you know, or possible several someones. Small dating pool with a tendency for casual hookups, people. Tread carefully.
3. Peace Corps messes us up emotionally. The highs are higher, yes, but the lows seem so much lower. Trying to add the emotional turmoil of relationship dynamics to that already roiling stew of emotions? Good luck.
4. Distance difficulties. As PCVs we’re expected to spend most of our time in village, so even dating someone in the same country may mean that you only see them a few times a month if you’re lucky, or even as infrequently as every few months. The closer your LOVAH is to your post, the easier that would make the relationship…but then the harder it would be if it ending. Dating your postmate sounds like a recipe for disaster in my book, but I know it’s been done.
5. While there may be something exotic and romantic about the idea of dating a host-country national (HCN) there are a whole new set of problems that then have to be navigated. Do they see you as a walking green card? Can you communicate clearly enough to know that you’re both on the same page? How about the financial differences? While the PC paycheck is small, it’s still larger than that of many HCNs. Cultural differences may seem interesting and charming at first, but often prove insurmountable. Example: In Cameroon, the concept of monogamy is seen as more “flexible” than is standard in the US. Does not exactly make for easy relationships there.
6. Same sex relationships are a million times more difficult here. While looking at hetero-normative relationships there seem to be enough troubles, add into the idea that whole different battle is being fought around homosexuality in many of the Peace Corps countries. While in the US the fight is over the legality of marriage, in many of these places, its about the legality of the act. People have been killed for being gay here. For PCVs to be involved in same sex relationships a whole new level of danger is undertaken. If you ask me, love is love, but sadly it isn’t seen that way here.
7. The idea of someone who wants to take care of you when you’re sick is sweet, but in reality doesn’t pan out as well. We are all sick more often here than we ever were at home, and not in a cute,way. Add in the less frequent showers due to limited water and romantic feelings might die a slow, sad death.
8. Peace Corps is about growth. While for some it’s easy to grow alongside someone else, often these things are best faced in the discomfort of being alone.
I have seen some adorable PCV couples and some impressively successful PCV/HCN relationships, so clearly it’s possible. But if you ask me, Peace Corps is for friends, not for lovers. Who else would you be able to complain with if your relationship goes bad? Your friend. When you can’t hold down food in a spectacularly unattractive manner? When you’re wondering if that “Peace Corps 15″ is noticeable?
Call me a cynic, but I see that Peace Corps is a time for being alone, or for learning how to rely on friends. Because the chances of a friendship going sour are much like Cameroon’s chances at the last world cup: slim to none.

“Human nature is like water. It takes the shape of its container.”

I would like to excuse my followers; this post will be long. It is a topic I have avoided writing about because it has been the most difficult and confusing part of my service thus far, a problem I have never had to worry about in my life: water. I have touched on the struggles that my community has with water (or better said, lack of water) but I have not updated followers with what I have done to try and help tackle the problem…so here it goes.

I organized a meeting to elect a water committee. Before the election, I tried to do team building exercises that explained the responsibilities of each role and what values make an effective group. However the participants were very unresponsive and just wanted to elect the committee. In retrospect, I now understand that many of them have never been asked to think about values or group organization, which is unfortunately why all of the groups that have existed in Santa Marta have failed. Feeling discouraged, I did as they wished and moved on with the voting- which was probably more frustrating than asking what values are. For as much as they complained about wanting to fix our water situation, it was amazing how many people did not want the responsibility. For almost an hour we shuffled through proposals of candidates and refusals and re-explaining what each position was before the acceptance. Finally, we elected a president, secretary, treasurer, fiscal, and 2 vocals.

 

swear in of our water committee!

I have been meeting with the water committee every two weeks to get them into the habit of maintaining organization, communication, and punctuality. We have studied the laws of the Ministry of Health (MINSA) in regards to what power the water committee has. We have also set a price to start charging community members for water. Every house needs to pay 50 cents per faucet and with these funds the committee can fix small problems in the system such as broken tubes. Ideally, the committee would raise enough money to construct an entirely new aqueduct, which is a huge goal and most communities don’t ever reach it before receiving aid from the government or an outside organization. Apart from that I have helped the committee in the process of receiving a Personaria Juridica which makes a group of people into a single legal entity that can be culpable for what happens with the aqueduct even after the roles of the individuals has changed & allows them to do things like open bank accounts under the name of this new entity rather than a single individual. We have also been trying to figure out some other legal issues. The current well is on someone’s property who currently does not live in the community. The committee needs permission from the owner before they can do anything action (build an aqueduct, reforest the area, ect). Until the owner comes to visit, which will apparently be for Christmas, we have no way of granting written permission. I had no idea that part of my job as a volunteer would be sorting through legal matters! These meetings with the water committee have been productive and we are learning a lot, however it’s not a physical object that the people are seeing. Unfortunately I have been told that I am not doing anything in the community because people are not seeing the construction of an aqueduct and are not seeing that instant gratification. No matter how many times I try to explain that I am not here to gift an aqueduct, and that the community is capable of helping itself, the people (especially in the Comarca) are just so used to freebies from the government that it takes away incentive from people to want to work for themselves or the greater good of the community. My job here can be really thankless.

 

Meanwhile, I have been learning about various water systems here in Panama. I went to another volunteer’s site to participate in her water seminar. She works in the sector Environmental Health (EH) which is a sector of mostly engineers who work in water systems and sanitation (latrines and/or potable water). Las Ensenadas is a beautiful site off the peninsula that requires boat travel. In this water seminar, I did a presentation about reforestation and its importance in protecting watersheds. The community was very interested in the topic and seemed to learn quite a bit. The volunteer is working on rainwater catchment systems since her site is not well suited for aqueducts or wells. She is making catchment tanks out of something called Ferro cement. These tanks are made from chicken wire and have a light coat of cement around the wire. These tanks can be used to catch rainwater or for an aqueduct. PCVs use Ferro cement because it is cheaper, easier to build, and more applicable to rural communities than huge tanks made of pure cement. Apart from my presentation the seminar included the construction of these Ferro cement tanks, water pressure, distribution, gravity fed systems… I basically learned more engineering in two days than I ever had learned before. While rainwater catchment may not be most suitable in my community, it was still very helpful in learning about Ferro cement tanks and what options are available in bettering water systems.

Putting wire over a sand full of sack  to make the Ferro cement tank

Adding a  layer of cement

 

 

Finished project

Mock-aduct. Model to show gravity fed systems



Las Ensenadas

 

 

 

 I also had 2 EH volunteers visit me to help me “survey” the current water system in Santa Marta. Surveying consists of taking altitude and horizontal distance of all of the current tubes. We did this with something called a water-level. It’s a very easy tool to use and all that’s needed is two sticks and a clear hose connecting them. Instead of trying to explain it and possibly boring followers, email me if there are specific questions regarding the water level. We also calculated the flow rate of our well. In the month of November we calculated a rate of 216,000 gallons of water every day! This is quite a bit of water, however the flow changes throughout the dry and wet seasons. Our current plan is to measure the rate every month for at least a year to see the patterns of flow. With all of this information, an engineer can design a plan for an aqueduct: how big does the reserve tank need to be, what size the tubes need to be, where is the best place (altitude wise) for the tank, ect. But building an aqueduct is not cheap. Once they have assessed and designed a plan, many EH volunteers get grants from an organization called Water Lines. With all of the help I have gotten from EHers, and if I continue to get help in regards of the design, I personally am not applicable to apply for a Water Line grant simply because I am not an EH volunteer, which brings me to my next topic… my confidence in Peace Corps policy.

 

As a CEC volunteer, I do not belong in my site. Santa Marta needs an EH volunteer, an expert in water and sanitation. It is hard for me to promote environmental conservation when the people’s basic needs are not met. A strategy I have been using is making environmental themes more relevant to them. The problems of trash and reforestation is not just for helping the environment, but also addresses issues of health, water, and God’s will. But nonetheless, each sector has an Associate Peace Corps Director (ACPD) who is responsible for site development. Site development includes the APCD meeting with interested community members who want a volunteer but also entails checking the safety of the area, access to medical services, transportation limitations, and housing availability. During this meeting the APCD assesses the community’s needs. But I’ve now learned that site development is a rushed meeting with 4 or 5 members of the community which is not sufficient for an adequate assessment. Every sector gets a new group of volunteers ever year (usually 25 people, assuming there will be some Early Terminations). Because the APCD needs to fill these 25 “spots” within a few months, site development tends to be hasty. I am one of four CEC volunteers in Bocas del Toro/ Comarca Ngäbe area. This brings up several obstacles: 1. Agencies in this area are very familiar with agriculture and sanitation volunteers, so explaining our environmental goals is something rather new for them; 2. Sharing ideas and visiting other volunteers is a great resource, but with so few of us it has been difficult to do;  3. It is difficult to not feel isolated when I meet up with the rest of my group who are in Latino sites with running water, electricity, smart phones, 3 meals a day, and sometimes even internet and cable.

 

 PC Panama is also doing a new system of “clustering” Right now all sectors have volunteers spread throughout the country. But starting in 2015, each sector will only have volunteers in certain provinces. CEC is leaving the Bocas/ Ngäbe area (as I think they should) but this makes me feel like my service will be unsustainable. I can still have a follow up volunteer in the sectors of EH and SAS but any environmental focus may be lost once another volunteer arrives with a different (and perhaps more needed) focus. Although I am trying to be flexible in what my community needs, there is a limit to what I can and cannot do. I often feel discouraged about my work and what affect I will actually have on my community members. But to return to the theme of water, I hope to create a strong foundation within the committee so if an EH volunteer comes in as a follow up, there can be more focus on the physical construction of resolving our water problem.